Don’t Hope,… Decide!

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Lagos, Nigeria, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.
Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, John!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.
For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?
“Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”
Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.
I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”
The man suddenly stopped smiling.
He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”

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Helpless love

Once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a vacation. According to their nature, each was having a good time. Suddenly, a warning of an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island.
The announcement caused sudden panic. All rushed to their boats. Even damaged boats were quickly repaired and commissioned for duty.
Yet, Love did not wish to flee quickly. There was so much to do. But as the clouds darkened, Love realised it was time to leave. Alas, there were no boats to spare. Love looked around with hope.
Just then Prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. Love shouted, “Prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?”
“No,” replied Prosperity, “my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you.”
A little later Vanity came by in a beautiful boat. Again Love shouted, “Could you help me, Vanity? I am stranded and need a lift. Please take me with you.”
Vanity responded haughtily, “No, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet.”
Sorrow passed by after some time. Again, Love asked for help. But it was to no avail. “No, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself.”
When Happiness passed by a few minutes later, Love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.
Love was growing restless and dejected. Just then somebody called out, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” Love did not know who was being so magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.
On getting off the boat, Love met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love inquired, “Knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?”
Knowledge smiled, “Oh, that was Time.”
“And why would Time stop to pick me and take me to safety?” Love wondered.
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, “Because only Time knows your true greatness and what you are capable of. Only Love can bring peace and great happiness in this world.”
“The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love. When we feel important, we forget love. Even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. Only with time do we realize the importance of love. Why wait that long? Why not make love a part of your life today?”

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Joke of the day...

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?

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Enjoy Your Life At Every Moment

Once a fisherman was sitting near seashore, under the shadow of a tree smoking his beedi. Suddenly a rich businessman passing by approached him and enquired as to why he was sitting under a tree smoking and not working. To this the poor fisherman replied that he had caught enough fishes for the day.
Hearing this the rich man got angry and said: Why don’t you catch more fishes instead of sitting in shadow wasting your time?
Fisherman asked: What would I do by catching more fishes?
Businessman: You could catch more fishes, sell them and earn more money, and buy a bigger boat.
Fisherman: What would I do then?
Businessman: You could go fishing in deep waters and catch even more fishes and earn even more money.
Fisherman: What would I do then?
Businessman: You could buy many boats and employ many people to work for you and earn even more money.
Fisherman: What would I do then?
Businessman: You could become a rich businessman like me.
Fisherman: What would I do then?
Businessman: You could then enjoy your life peacefully.
Fisherman: Isn’t that what I am doing now?
Moral – You don’t need to wait for tomorrow to be happy and enjoy your life. You don’t even need to be more rich, more powerful to enjoy life. LIFE is at this moment, enjoy it fully.
As some great men have said “My riches consist not in extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”.

If you find this story useful, please share with a friend!

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Mouthology? Short Funny Story

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

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How The Poor Live

One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”
“It was great, Dad.”
“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.
“Oh yeah,” said the son.
“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.
The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.”
The boy’s father was speechless.

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7 Ways to Significantly Improve The Quality of Your Life ...

If right now you are not very satisfied with your life and you fear that nothing will improve in the future, just read on and discover a few very efficient ways to improve the quality of your life. Don’t worry; this is not such a hard thing to achieve! You don’t have to make important changes in your life in order to reach this goal, you’ll just have to take small actions every day, so you’ll be able to live your life to the fullest and enjoy all the wonderful things around you. Chris Matakas once said that, “The quality of your life is directly proportional to the positive effect you have on others’ lives,” and he couldn’t be more right! Here are a few very simple, yet extremely efficient ways to significantly improve the quality of your life that you should consider, if you want to live a happier and more meaningful life:

1. Set Goals

One of the most efficient things you can do to improve the quality of your life is to set some simple, realistic and specific goals that will help you focus on your plans and your future. This will also help you discover what you want in life and those goals will constantly remind you of what really matters for you and what you need to do to fulfill all your dreams.

2. Meditate

Try to meditate for at least ten minutes every day and see how much the quality of your life will improve! Just spend some time daily alone with your thoughts, then simply empty your mind and focus on your breathing. This will help you relax and you will manage to forget about all those worries and negative thoughts that always bother you.

3. Cultivate Optimism

Be positive and cultivate optimism in your life! Focus on all the beautiful things around you and remind yourself of how many wonderful things you have in your life that you should be grateful for. A positive attitude will help you easily overcome all those obstacles you might encounter in your path and it will also significantly improve the quality of your life.

4. Do Something Bold Every Day!

Just man up and do something bold every day! It will make you feel more alive, plus you will realize that most of your fears are not grounded and that sometimes, you are the one who stands in the way of your happiness. Just step out of your comfort zone, take some risks and leave your usual routine! For example, you could try talking to someone you wouldn’t normally talk to or you could start a project that you feel intimidated by.

5. Learn Something New

Make a habit out of learning something new every day and see how much the quality of your life will improve. This way, you will be more informed, you will nourish your brain and your curiosity and you will learn new and interesting things that will make you feel more connected to what’s going on around you.

6. Celebrate

Celebrate, as often as you can, all the wonderful things that happen in your life! Reward yourself for your small victories and find joy in the little things. Molly Mahar, life coach, said that, “Celebrating is a wonderful way to share love with others and incorporate more play into our lives,” and she couldn’t be more right! Just celebrate with traditions, with small thank you notes, with big evenings out with your friends, with surprises or even with time spent with the ones you love. There’s plenty to choose from; you just have to allow yourself to have fun every once in a while and to enjoy all the wonderful things in your life.

7. Love Yourself

In my opinion, this is definitely one of the most important things you should do to improve the quality of your life! Learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are, with all your qualities and flaws. Don’t be so hard on yourself and treat your body with respect and care. Eat and sleep right, exercise and relax. Do things you enjoy every day and allow yourself to be happy!
In order to increase your mental and physical well-being, you could also socialize more, disconnect every now and then and focus more often on the wonderful things in your life. Do you know any other things I should add to this list? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!

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7 Typical Double Standards between Men And Women ..

While equality is big among different races, genders and age groups, there are still some double standards between men and women that are quite hard to get rid off. Certain rules and principles are unfairly applied to either men or women, causing a slight inequality in the treatment and expectations of both groups. The following double standards between men and women are all things that might be familiar to you.

1. Men Have The Pressure of Making The First Move

The most obvious double standards between men and women occur on the topic of dating. Whenever there is a move to be made or a question to be asked, men are frequently expected to act on their feelings first while women analyze what is brought up to them. Additionally, when men fail to make the first move, they are judged on their hesitation and are further looked down upon for not being ‘manly’ enough.

2. Women Must Be Clean And Organized

However, when it comes to the household, it is more acceptable for men to live in dirty and dusty environments than for women. Women are expected to find the time to clean, cook and generally take care of the household. However, we overlook the fact that just like men, women have other, more important responsibilities such as work, family and maybe even education to keep up with.

3. Opposite Gender Friends

By society’s standards it is more acceptable for a girl to have many guy friends than it is for a guy to have many girl friends. When it comes to guys, our suspicions begin to rise up and we find it hard to justify his relationship with so many different ladies. However, for some unknown reason we are calmer about the fact that woman often have friendships with the opposite gender.

4. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a serious ongoing problem that has affected many individuals, which is why it is never taken lightly. Many men are put into jail as punishment for raising their hands on women, but nothing seems to happen when women decide to project their anger on a male. All of a sudden, it doesn’t seem to be that much of a problem when the roles are reversed, and that's not right.

5. Single Status in Late 30s

When women reach a certain age, they are expected to start thinking about settling down and starting their own family, which is why when you are in your late thirties, people begin to push you toward marriage and consider you as damaged goods. In comparison it is completely okay for men to remain single even past their 40s, until they initiate a family themselves.

6. Cheating

Going back to relationships, men are considered to be jerks when they lose the trust of their women. However, when it is announced that it is the other way around, women begin to justify their actions by saying that they are the neglected and unloved ones in the relationship.

7. Dating Experience

Men are often lauded for their rich dating experience by their fellow mates. They are thought of as some top-notch achievement earners who can get their foot through the door. However, if a woman unintentionally ended up having a long list of dates and exes, she is automatically promiscuous and unfaithful.
It’s interesting how double standards work out. Each gender group is suppressed by the other due to society’s standards. What are some of your least liked double standards between men and women? Share in the comments.

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Story of My Life

  Chapter One

Our love story started long before John and I ever actually met.

And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you meet your future husband or wife somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.


So that’s why I need to start the story with a little bit of background. The whole “girl meets boy, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get married” model is a little too simplistic for my needs. You people want details, don't you? Of course you do.


When I was 18 years old and working as a waitress at a little family restaurant, I met a guy who was 10 years older than me. He was the one who came before John. We dated for three and half years, and even lived together during the last year and half of that relationship. We moved into a tiny little house and owned Grace and Cooper together and our relationship was never a terrible one. He was a good guy, I was a good girl, and we really did love each other.


But for every moment of those three and a half years, I had a nagging, itching, aching feeling that he would never be the right one for me. Despite his great heart, he lacked ambition and drive and handled his finances very poorly and, at the heart of it all, was very insecure despite being a bright and attractive guy. I understood him, though. I understood that his family had never prepared him for LIFE, and the poor decisions he had made as a younger man had him caught in a sticky web and a hole he just couldn’t seem to dig himself out of.


As the years went by, he could give me less and less of what I needed. Things became strained between us. I was a terrible nag, and I see that now. But the problem was that there were just too many things about him that I wanted to change. And as I began to realize that I could never change him and shouldn’t have to, I struggled SO much with what the right thing to do was. It ate away at me day and night, because I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without him. And being alone TERRIFIED me.


Somewhere during all this, I read the book The Secret which is all about the law of attraction. I really, really believed in what it said. It inspired me. I realized that I had not arranged my life in a way that allowed for all the things I so desired. I hate to skim over this because it’s so important, but let’s just say that I KNEW I had to decide what I wanted my future to look like and start taking active steps towards attracting that future. And staying in my current relationship at the time was a major roadblock. I knew in my heart that if I stayed where I was, life would always be a struggle.


So one day the breakup finally happened. We talked and cried for hours and finally decided that we could never truly work. He decided to move out and let me stay in the house and keep the dogs because, on his income alone, he couldn’t afford to live there (I made enough waiting tables to cover the bills if pennies were tightly pinched).


I can honestly say that the 48 hours after that break up were the toughest of all my life. I ugly-cried those kind of tears that come from somewhere inside you didn’t even know existed—a place of fear and sudden awareness that you are completely alone.


And that’s the place I was in when I met John. We met a mere 48 hours after the ex and I called it quits, which could either be considered really terrible timing or really great timing. I choose to believe the timing was perfect.


But let’s back up again for just a minute.


Remember how I was working at that little restaurant? Well, for a couple of years I’d been waiting on my future in-laws without even knowing it. We’ll just call them Mr. and Mrs. D for our purposes here today.


They were an odd couple. Mrs. D was a beautiful blonde and friendly as can be, and Mr. D was quiet, reserved, and hard to read. I really enjoyed waiting on them, though, and I found it amusing when Mrs. D would occasionally mention their son in Abuja and how perfect he and I would be for each other. She mentioned this to me on at least two or three occasions, but I always laughed and just politely reminded her that I had a boyfriend. I came to find out later that, in actuality, Mrs. D talked a whole lot more about John and I one day meeting than I ever knew at the time; Mr. D now says he had to hear about it every single time they came to the restaurant, and John, when he was in town, would always go to eat there and would hear about me then, too. But for some reason, I was never working when John happened to stop in with his parents, and our paths never crossed.


But then one day, on January 19, 2009, our paths DID cross. And to make it all the more strange, I wasn’t even working that day—the encounter was, TRULY, by chance.


Little did I know when I woke up that morning, Workers Day and a university holiday, that my life was about to be turned upside down.

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6 Secrets for a Happy Marriage

People spend lots of time planning their weddings and forget to prepare for the marriage that comes afterward. With the divorce rate consistently hovering around 50% we wondered what it is that couples who are married for the long term say are the hallmarks of their union. From Dr. Phil to the self-help section at your bookstore, here are 6 ways that we found to keep your bond strong.

1. Maintain respect above all. This means no name calling or “below the belt” tactics during arguments. 
2. Pillow talk. In the evening before bed, take a few minutes to talk to each other. It doesn’t have to be big stuff. Just talk.
3. Focus on the good. Couples who stay together over the long haul make sure to tell each other all the ways their partner is fantastic.
4. Know that the grass isn’t greener. Grass is grass and we bring our half of problems wherever we go, so….”love the one you’re with!”
5. Give each other privacy. Either through separate bathrooms or separate activities, having some space is important.
6. There’s no such thing as a soul mate. We mate our souls together and happily married couples know that if they agree on 80% then the other 20% will work itself out.

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4 Reasons Why Divorce Is Worth It

Let’s be honest: divorce gets a bad rep. Despite the fact that divorce rate hovers around the 50 percent (or more) mark, divorced people are still judged harshly and put down publicly. The reality is, though, that as tough as divorce is, as much as it stinks in a lot of ways, there are still positives that come from it. After all, people wouldn’t get divorced otherwise, now would they?
Here are some positive things that can come from getting divorced.

1. Getting out of a situation that makes you miserable.

Yes, some marriages can be salvaged through counseling, hard work, and a solid commitment from both partners. However, there are times and situations when all the therapy sessions in the world aren’t going to make things better. Getting divorced can be the answer to getting out of a situation that is making you (and your partner) deeply unhappy. It’s important to realize that sometimes it’s better to end things and go your separate ways, particularly if you’ve tried to improve your relationship without success.

2. Getting your kids out of a situation that is making them miserable.

Sure, kids want their parents to be together, but that’s really only if their parents are happy. It can be argued that having parents who live under the same roof but fight all the time is worse than having happy parents who live in separate homes. Sharing homes and custody creates another set of challenges for your children, but if they are overall happier in two separate homes, then isn’t that best for everyone?

3. Being a strong role model for your kids.

Being a single parent isn’t easy, it’s true, but it does provide you with the opportunity to demonstrate to your kids what it means to be a strong and independent person. Sure, that can also be done within the walls of a happy marriage, but getting out of an unhappy situation and learning to live independently on your own can teach your kids many valuable lessons.

4. Being able to focus on your kids, rather than on your unhappy marriage.

Dealing with an unhappy marriage takes a lot of time, not to mention mental and emotional energy. When you’re divorced, that time and energy can be better spent on building a happy life for you and your children. Children require a lot of time, attention and emotion. Putting an unhappy marriage behind you can free up those emotions and allow you to concentrate on building a happy, solid relationship with your kids.

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8 Best Things about Long Distance Relationship

I was always skeptical about long distance relationships when I was younger, but eventually being in one opened my eyes to the best things about long distance relationships! It's not always easy and it requires a ton of effort, but in the end, the best things about long distance relationships are more than worth it. My long distance relationship is by far the healthiest one I have ever been in. It's also the longest relationship that I've ever had! Here are some of the reasons!

1. You Know The Relationship Is Special

I think one of the best things about long distance relationships is that they are incredibly meaningful. It takes two special people to commit to each other across time differences and distance! It's rare for anyone to get involved in a long distance relationship just for the sake of it; when you are physically apart from your partner for long periods of time, you must have an incredibly deep connection and care about them so much that distance, while frustrating, doesn't matter. Couples in a long distance relationship are willing to do almost anything for each other!

2. Amazing Communication

Being in a long distance relationship requires a great amount of communication, because all you can do is talk to each other! Couples who aren't together on a regular basis and can only communicate electronically have the incredible conversations; however, written words only make up 7% of what we register from communication. Voice tone, expression, and body language are far more important. I'm in a long distance relationship and there have been many times that my boyfriend and I have misinterpreted each others language and attitude while text messaging and making phone calls when video chatting isn't an option. I have to try to be as open and understanding as possible to overcome such a frustrating obstacle.

3. Freedom of Being Single

Of course, being in a relationship is one of the most beautiful and satisfying experiences! But sometimes, it's nice to have your own space and not worry about coordinating your schedule around someone else. In a long distance relationship, you have the wonderful comfort of being with someone you love. But you're also able to spend more time with friends, family, or focusing on your goals! My boyfriend and I are both incredibly busy and so supportive of each others dreams and aspirations! We have the beauty of a healthy, balanced relationship, but also the opportunity to be academically oriented as students in college.

4. Trust

With so much freedom in a long distance relationship, trust is an absolute must! One of the downsides of this kind of relationship is that you won't always know where your partner is, who they are spending time with, or what they are doing. Being far apart and having no mutual friends opens up an incredibly accessible gateway for being unfaithful. This is a thought that passes through every long distance couple's minds! It takes an enormous amount of trust in someone else to believe that they are committed to you, and only you, from so far away.

5. Traveling

One of my personal favorite things about being in a long distance relationship is that I've gotten to travel to so many incredible places! I live in Lagos and my boyfriend lives in Abuja. We've both flown to see each other and I got to experience a part of the U.S. I would have probably never traveled to otherwise! If you are in a long distance relationship, it's so fun to travel and have your partner give you a tour of their state or country! This adventurous relationship will make you more cultured, well rounded, and aware of different lifestyles.

6. Making An Effort

Long distance relationships are special because they require a great amount of effort. Planning trips, scheduling times to video chat, and remembering to call everyday takes commitment and dedication. It also requires some creativity! Because my boyfriend and I can't spend time together on a regular basis, we've tried to stay connected and have fun by playing games over video chat, challenging each other to scrabble on our mobile devices, and we even created a Pandora station to share music! A long distance relationship is definitely not the kind that you can or should slack off in!

7. Fun Stories

Couples in a long distance relationship, more often than not, have really great stories and memories to look back on! I love sharing with people the story of how my boyfriend and I met. With long distance relationships, meetings just seem to be caused by fate! Even though these couples can't spend time together on a regular basis, they really make the most of their time by travelling to exciting places, attending cool exhibits, and trying new things! The memories that my boyfriend and I make in the time of a few short weeks are enough to last me an entire year.

8. Appreciating Being Together

Being in a long distance relationship makes you realize just how lucky you are when you finally get to spend time with your sweetheart. Whenever you visit, every single moment counts; from the minute you get off the plane, to the day it's time to go back home. You won't take your partner for granted, and absence really does make the heart grow fonder!
If you ever have the chance to be with someone you're interested in who is far away, don't think that the distance is insurmountable! A long distance relationship might just be one of the most interesting and beautiful experiences that you have. If you are in a long distance relationship, what are some of your favorite pros? Do you have any fun or special stories about how you met your significant other?

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7 Roles Your Partner Must Play in a Successful Relationship ...

When you’re in a committed relationship, there are different roles your partner must play. Being someone's boyfriend or girlfriend holds a lot of responsibility. You need to be there for the other person, even when it’s inconvenient for you. For better or for worse, here are some roles your partner must play:

1. Best Friend

A best friend contains all of the traits that a great mate does. They’re your favorite person to be around. They’re the first person you go to when you have happy (or horrid) news. Above all, they’re the person that you trust the most in the world. One of the most important roles your partner must play is being your best friend, because they have to make you laugh, and be there for you when you cry.

2. Psychiatrist

You want a mate that will listen to your problems. They don’t have to prescribe a cure--they just have to be there to listen. If your partner is bored by your stories, the relationship will suffer. We all know about the importance of communication. If you can’t talk to them, then how will you two be able to last?

3. Nurse

When you’re sick, they’ll make your food, and attempt to nurse you back to health. They don’t have to have a medical degree. They just have to sit by your bed, and tell you you’re beautiful even when you look like a mess. As long as they’re trying their best to help, that’s all that matters. Their love can't cure an illness, but it can certainly help.

4. Teacher

We all have different skills that we’re capable of teaching others. Maybe your partner’s a great cook, and will show you how to make scrumptious eggs in the morning. Maybe they’re a talented dancer, and will teach you a few steps. When you’re in a relationship, you get to witness your mate’s talents, and hopefully learn from them. It's fun for everyone.

5. Protector

They don’t have to be skilled in the martial arts in order to complete the ‘protector’ role. They just have to make you feel safe. If you’re stuck in an elevator with them, will you freak out, or will they cause you to calm down? If you’re snowed in by a storm, will they help you survive or will they leave you to fend for yourself? A great protector is someone who can make you feel safe, even when you’re not.

6. Teddy Bear

Even if you’re not the affectionate type, there will be moments when you’ll just want a hug. Your partner will be there for you to snuggle up with at night. They’ll be there to hold your hand when you’re feeling nervous. No matter what, they'll be there.

7. Equal

This is a role your partner must constantly play if you want your relationship to last. Neither one of you is superior to the other. It doesn’t matter if you have a better job or a more beautiful face. Inside of the relationship. you’re equals. If you both remember this, then it’ll be easier to work out problems and keep your relationship strong.
Successful relationships require quite a bit of work. You need to be efficient in many areas, in order to satisfy your lover's needs. Does your partner fulfill all of these roles?

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7 Very Useful Tips on How to Feel Comfortable in Your Relationship ...

In the beginning of a new relationship, it’s only natural to feel a bit nervous and apprehensive, but once the time passes and things are getting more serious, it’s extremely important to learn how to feel comfortable in your relationship, so you won’t let fear affect your happiness. For some people, those anxieties that were present in the beginning of their relationship will disappear and they don’t even have to make any efforts to achieve that; it all comes naturally. Others may find it a bit difficult to let their guard down, especially those who have been hurt before, since they don’t want to experience that pain again. That’s why they tend to build fences around themselves, to protect themselves better. In the long term, this behavior can seriously affect the stability of your relationship and even your happiness. That’s why you should address this uneasiness, so you’ll be able to feel more relaxed when you’re around your partner. Here are a few very helpful tips on how to feel comfortable in your relationship to keep in mind so you won’t let fear affect your happiness:

1. Get to Know Your Partner Very Well

One of the most important things you should do to learn how to feel comfortable in your relationship is to try to get to know your partner very well. Find out all about their interests, their passions and notice how many things you two have in common. You will feel more comfortable when you’re around them and you will let your guard down without worrying that they might hurt you.

2. Talk to Them

If something troubles you, simply talk to them and clarify that thing. Tell them what bothers you or what’s been on your mind for quite some time and you will see that your worries are actually unfounded. The best way to solve any problem in your relationship is by communicating more efficiently. You will feel more confident afterwards, and more comfortable when you’re around your better half.

3. Share Your Secrets

I’m not saying you should tell them your deepest and darkest secrets right from the start, just make sure you share certain things about you, things that no one knows, so they will be able to get to know you better and see you for whom you really are, not for whom you appear to be. We all wear all kinds of different masks around people, but your partner should know you just as you are, since they are one of the most important people in your life.

4. Improve Yourself

Another way to feel comfortable in your relationship is by always trying to improve yourself. For example, if you need to lose a couple of pounds or tone a few muscles, start exercising or go to gym. The important thing is to take action and try to improve certain things that bother you about yourself, because once you feel comfortable with yourself, you will also feel comfortable in your relationship.

5. Love Yourself

As I’ve said before, in order to feel comfortable with your partner, you should first be comfortable with yourself. Learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are with all your qualities, and especially with your flaws. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to work on improving those areas you don’t like so much and to not be so hard on yourself, since in your partner’s eyes you already are perfect.

6. Remind Yourself That They like You for a Reason

If you have any doubts, worries or insecurities, try to remind yourself that they like you for a reason. They are with you because there are certain aspects about you that they just can’t resist. So even if you don’t like your smile or the way you look in pictures, they actually find you irresistible and they are very proud to be with you. Just pay more attention to what they are saying and you will discover that they like precisely those things that make you feel insecure sometimes.

7. Have Patience

Always have enough patience, because a relationship can’t become serious overnight. Give yourselves enough time to get to know each other better and learn more about one another. Spend time together and see if you share any common interests. Don’t hurry; take your time, since the beginning of a relationship is one of the most beautiful stages in every committed relationship.
Even if sometimes you might find it a bit hard to be yourself with the boy or girl you love, if you address those issues that are haunting you and if you have enough patience, I’m sure you will learn how to not let fear affect your happiness. Do you feel comfortable in your relationship? How did you do it? Do you know any other tips on how to feel comfortable in your relationship? Do tell!

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